TELEPHONE SONGS: Not-So-Silent Film

When I hear certain songs, my mind creates little movies to go with them. I'm sure a lot of people do this. Real music videos have made our imaginary ones redundant, though, by supplying the images for us. Older songs are better fodder for the Scorsese in all of us, but even they can be spoiled by very bad soundtrack choices. (Robert DeNiro's A Bronx Tale, which is a pretty good movie, has completely spoiled the Moody Blues for me. Rent it and find out why.) And whenever I finally see the video for a song I've been directing in my head for years, I'm always disappointed.

This happened recently with Electric Light Orchestra's "Calling America." The song is typical of late-era ELO, with its cheesy synths, corny lyrics and Jeff Lynne's famous multitracking tomfoolery. And I love it. It tells the story of a lover stranded across the pond, trying desperately to reach his girl in the States. The hook is huge, and so is the heart, and Jeff's sincerity shines through even the slick '80s pop sheen.

The video, though, is terrible. We see Jeff and two other bandmates performing in front of a hideous office building. We see shots of a mass transit train. We see a woman... walking around, for some reason. And there's some awful computer graphics of her head. Yeah. It's bad.

Here's what I always imagined: a disheveled man, wearing a suit and tie, at a pay phone. He looks frustrated. He can't get through. Soon, we see him sprinting (with the synthy beat) around London, trying but failing to catch trains, cabs, and buses. A couple more times, he stops to use a phone but gets no response. Soon, he runs into Heathrow airport, in a series of tinted Paul Thomas Anderson-esque wide shots. The camera smoothly tracks along as he runs through the terminal to buy his ticket. But he has no need, because she's there. That's why he couldn't get through: she has left America to be with him.

I'd like to know what songs turn on the filmmaker in you. If you're like some enterprising fans, you've already made your own videos, and there's no reason not to share. Okay, sometimes there is. But it can't be any worse than McG.

TODAY'S RECOMMENDATION: "Calling America" by Electric Light Orchestra
AVAILABLE ON: Balance of Power; iTunes